It's Me, And It's You, And A Love That's True
by kkequestrian
Summary: A superstar who has everything in the world,except the two things he wants most.A young mom who is struggling to raise her toddler and manage to stay at the top of the charts at the same time with the baby's father out of the picture. She still loves him,he still loves her.No words have been spoken in over 2 years because of an unforgivable sin. Can love conquer?
1. PS I'm Still Not Over You

_**Okay so it's a Saturday night and I'm extremely bored. Normal people my age are probably out partying and enjoying time with friends or snuggling up with boyfriends...but I'd rather write about Auslly tonight ;) I love all you readers! Please review!**_

_**This was just thought up randomely, by the way, as I was listening to Rihanna. It's gonna be at least a few chapters long, this was really just the introduction kind of...I gues...I don't know. **_

_**THE LYRICS ARE IMPORTANT! READ THEM!**_

_**I do not own Austin and Ally.**_

_**(*&(*%%$#$&*%^)(+_)(&(*%(&(^*%$#$^$^(*&)*_POJOYUI^*&&%&$$%^#^ER$&^%***(**_

**P.S. I'm Still Not Over You**

**Austin's P.O.V.**

It's been over two years since I last saw her beautiuful face. Ally Dawson, my best friend, song writer, partner through everything, and lastly but most importantly, my lover. I adored everything about the adorkable, enthusiastic little brunette. Things just happened so quickly and I was a stupid 17 year old who had no idea what he was doing. So, of course, I screwed everything up. And since that awful night that the love of my life walked away from me forever, I haven't seen or heard anything from her. I regret everything. The first mistake was so stupid on my part, but it was manageable. I wouldn't even go back and fix this if I ever had the chance. I could've just accepted responsibility, decided to become a man and deal with it. I knew what I needed to do, hell even Dez knew what I needed to do! But did I do it? No. Well, I did. For about a week, before I cracked and made the second mistake. A mistake I _would _give anything in this world to go back and fix.

And now, not only is Ally Dawson out of my life forever, but so is my son, Aiden. Yes, my son. His second birthday is coming up in a month. The only reason I know that? Dez is Trish's fiance' now. Trish will have nothing to do with me, but Dez is still my friend. Not best friend, but at least he will still associate with me. That's my only connection to anything Ally.

Well anything that I know for sure is true.

You see, when Ally left, she started her own career. And even as a pregnant teen, her soulful and heart wrenching music touched the sould of so many that she flew up the ladder of fame faster than anyone could have ever immagined. I couldn't be more proud of her. She has written some happy songs too, don't get me wrong.

But I could tell you who they were about. I know, well, knew Ally that well. All the happy songs are about Aiden. You can tell in all the pictures everywhere that Ally absolutely adores Aiden. And he definitely loves his mother.

Too bad his father is an ass hole and couldn't stand up through the pressures of the verbal abuse of those around him.

You see, my second mistake was when I decided to tell the world through a web cast that Ally's baby wasn't mine. I know, a stupid, unforgiveable move. I made her out to look like a liar for my own selfish, ass hole reasons. At the time, I was 17. People were saying awful things to me, and even my own parents kicked me out of the house claiming if I was grown up enough to get a girl pregnant, that I am grown up enough to live on my own and support said girl and baby. And, they were right. If only I had known that then. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am today. Or, maybe, if they had given me support after they diciplined me I wouldn't be where I am today, either. Because I would have had a least someone.

But now I'm "Austin Moon, once upon a time super star." Sure, I have money from all the wonderful hits Ally had written and I had performed. I had, after all, released 4 albums. But what good does this empy 5,000 sq. ft. pent house do for me if I'm all alone? Absolutely nothing. Like I said before, my friends left when Ally left. Everyone hated me for what I did, more than they judged me for getting Ally pregnant.

I tried filling the void with random girls. Did that work? Hell no. None of them compared to Ally. At all. They were just...someone to talk to. I would never sleep with any of them. This made some of them angry, and some of them just knew they'd never compete with the girl I loved, who was now nothing but a ghost of a memory.

I was recalling all of this, wondering if my son will grow up to love music like me and his mother do. Wondering if he'll be a football player like I was in high school, and really smart like his mom. He has my looks, for the most part. There really is no denying he is my son, now. But will he be shy like his mom, caring and sweet? Hopefully he won't be like me. That's the last thing dear, sweet Ally needs. A rebellious kid to break her heart like I broke my parents' hearts.

Then a new song began to play on the radio, one that instantly caught my attention. I sat straight up in my California king size bed as Ally's beautiful voice filled the air surrounding me. Her voice always put me at peace, even if it does have a slightly haunting effect on me now, and her sound is different than it was back when they were together. But as I listen to the lyrics of her song, I can't help but wonder just who she wrote it about...

_Whats up?__  
__I know we haven't spoken for a while__  
__But I was thinkin bout you__  
__And it kinda made me smile__  
__So many things to say__  
__And I'll put em in a letter__  
__Thought it might be easier__  
__The words might come out better__  
__How's your mother, how's your little brother?__  
__Does he still look just like you?__  
__So many things I wanna know the answers to__  
__Wish I could press rewind__  
__And rewrite every line__  
__To the story of me and you___

_Don't you know I've tried and I've tried__  
__To get you out my mind__  
__But it don't get no better__  
__As each day goes by__  
__And I'm lost and confused__  
__I've got nothin to lose__  
__Hope to hear from you soon__  
__P.S. I'm still not over you__  
__Still not over you___

_Excuse me, I really didn't mean to ramble on__  
__But there's a lot of feelings that remain since you've been gone__  
__I guess you thought that I would put it all behind me__  
__But it seems there's always somethin right there to remind me__  
__Like a silly joke, or somethin on the t.v.__  
__Boy it aint easy__  
__When I hear our song__  
__I get that same old feeling__  
__Wish I could press rewind__  
__Turn back the hands of time__  
__And I shouldn't be telling you___

_Don't you know I've tried and I've tried__  
__To get you out my mind__  
__But it don't get no better__  
__As each day goes by__  
__And I'm lost and confused__  
__I've got nothin to lose__  
__Hope to hear from you soon__  
__P.S. I'm still not over you__  
__Still not over you___

_Did you know I kept all of your pictures__  
__Don't have the strength to part with them yet__  
__Oh no...__  
__Tried to erase the way your kisses taste__  
__But some things a girl can never forget___

_Don't you know I've tried and I've tried__  
__To get you out my mind__  
__But it don't get no better__  
__As each day goes by__  
__And I'm lost and confused__  
__I've got nothin to lose__  
__Hope to hear from you soon__  
__P.S. I'm still not over you__  
__Still not over you_

Is it...could it be possible she wrote it about me? For the first time since Ally walked out of my life, I have the slightest bit of hope. Maybe Ally does hate me. But maybe, just maybe, I can change that. Maybe I can prove to her that I'm not that stupid 17 year old anymore, that I can love her and Aiden with my whole heart and soul, because well I already do! Maybe, just maybe, my brown eyed girl still isn't over me...

)&^%$^^()_IJIY(^&(*&%$R$&%*(Y(P:))**&^*)ROSS)*(*^^*%^%^(*&)U)YTR^&$*^(&)*_U&^

_**And, finished! First chapter! I'm gonna keep writing... I like this :) Tell me what you guys think, please! It would mean the world to me!**_


	2. Not So Hard, And Yet It Is

_**Okay I've got another chapter! :D**_

_** you were the first to review, so thanks! Love you!**_

_**I really hope everyone likes this story as much as I do! I won't keep writing it if you don't...so let me know with your reviews people!**_

_**Anyone want to tell me something they'd like to see in the story? :) Not saying I'll use all the ideas, but I'll use ones that I think fit the way this story is going! So give it a try! ^_^**_

_**)(*^&^&$TY(*&O*&((^T^%R&%^(()L*^T*&%TRO(_)*(YOT*&^(&P)*(&(^T&^)(&*_{)(_)_&^**_

**Not So Hard, And Yet It Is**

**Austin's P.O.V.**

I've made up my mind. I'm going to get to Ally again. I'm going to convince her I can do this, even if I have to bring public shame to myself in the process. I don't care anymore, in fact I don't think I have ever since Ally walked out and I realized what I had done. So why didn't I come up with this idea sooner? Well, I have no idea. But who cares at this point, I just know I'm going to find a way to make this right.

I'm going to make Ally fall in love with me all over again. And if her recent song _does _have anything to do with me...than maybe it won't be so hard.

But I've thought about all the possible outcomes, too, not just the ones favorable to me. Maybe she won't want me in Aiden's life. She might think I'm a bad influence on him. Or maybe she will think I'd be a terrible father.

For the record, I think I'd be a great dad.

Will Ally think so?

Probably not.

But I don't care what front she puts up. Once I find out for sure she still has some sort of feelings for me, I'm going to keep pushing until she lets me through the force field I know she has surrounding her heart, and in the process get her to allow me to be a daddy to Aiden. Not just a father, because I already am that. I want to be his daddy. The one he loves to play with at night when I come home, the one that will teach him how to play sports, the one that will help him with girls when he gets older, the one that will be there for him always.

I'm walking into Star Records to meet up with Jimmy. Through all the drama with Ally, he tried to help keep my name out of the mud. He doesn't know the real story. I've considered telling him multiple times, but never have for fear I'd lose my record deal. At this point I don't care anymore, I'm so over this lonely life style. I'm doing what I love, with no one to love me while I do it. Not as amazing as it's made out to be. Jimmy called me in for a meeting, which is why I'm here in the first place.

I had every intention on telling Jimmy the truth today. He needs to know what happened regardless of how it will affect my career. Then I walked through the door of Jimmy's office, and who do I see sitting on the plush couch that I usually sit on in the lounge of Jimmy's office?

None other than Ally Dawson herself.

Well this should go well.

"Austin! You're here! Good to see you son." Jimmy says in his loud manner as he motions for me to come take a seat, but I'm frozen in my place. Ally looks like she's just seen a ghost. I don't blame her though.

I finally rip my gaze from the beautiful girl in front of me and rigidly make my way over to the lounge. I sit next to Jimmy.

"Okay!" Jimmy continues, his voice booming. "I know you two used to work together and somethings happened between you two, but here's the deal. Diano Records and Star Records have decided to work together for an ultimate tour that will rock the entire world. Since you two are both our top stars, you are headlining on a tour together. The tickets for every show are expected to sell out within 5 minutes, because of how famous you two are and it will be even better together." I listened in shock as he explained, and cringed when he said 'better together', making me think of a song Ally and I had written together. Jimmy continues explaining all the little details, and I'm lost in space thinking that it was easier to find Ally than I thought, but the look on her face makes me think my plan isn't going to be a walk in the park. I never thought it would be easy, but I think it's going to be a lot damn harder than I thought at first. I begin to listen again as I hear Jimmy say mine and Ally's names again. "Now I'm speaking to both of you when I say this, and I know this sounds unprofessional, but I don't give a shit what really happened between you two. Ally, I don't think you're a liar. Austin, I think you're a good man. So get over whatever the hell really happened, because you two **are ** going on tour together. No ifs, ands, or butts about it unless you _both _want to lose your record deals. Is this understood?"

The threat in his voice scared the hell out of me as he said the last part. I nodded vigorously, and chanced to take a glance at Ally. She was looking to the ground, but you could see her faintly nod her head.

"Now, I'm going to get back to work. We are announcing the tour tonight at a press conference, and there will be a large kick-off party on Friday night. Both of you are expected to be there, and you are to be dressed to impress. Ally, bring little guy along. What's his name again? Oh, yeah. Aiden. An.."

"What?!" Jimmy was cut off by Ally's harsh tone. His head snapped up from the paper he was reading notes off of, and looked her in the face. He was obviously surprised by Ally's tone. "Jimmy, I can't bring him. There will be way too many people, amongst other reasons why he cannot come. A tour kick-off party is no place for a toddler. I can just leave him with the caretaker for the night. I have her hired for a reason, you no."

Damn, I've never seen Ally so confident and persuasive.

Well, I have. But that's a whole different kind of confident and persuasive than what is happening now.

Focus Austin!

I tune back into the conversation just in time to hear Jimmy relent to Ally's request. "Okay, Ally. Leave him home then. But I've already been informed he is going to be attending the tour, correct?"

Ally nodded her head.

"Well, good then. Back to the party. You two **must **act friendly with each other. Even overly friendly, if you can manage it. Let the media talk, it's what we want. The same thing I said about the tour applies to this, I don't give a shit. Just make it happen. You two will arrive in the same limo, and will leave in the same limo as well. Specifics will be sent to you about time, location, ect. by Amanda. Austin, you will be performing with Ally two songs at each concert. The set list is still being worked out, but we know you are singing your 5 biggest hits for sure, obviously. Start working with your back up dancers again on the routines for those songs for now until we get the rest of the set list. Everything needs to be the best you've ever done, so spice things up a little. Be a little wild, not so reserved. Okay?" I nodded.

"Ally, Mr. Diano will be speaking with you about specifics for your set list and other things, so that's not my place. I've gone over everything we needed to for now, so this meeting is done. You two, however, are not. You are to go out tonight, and 'enjoy' each others presence at Black Jacks, the club in downtown. The paparazzi will be there. Get noticed."

I'm sitting there, still in shock as Jimmy gets up to walk away. Ally, obviously has other ideas.

"But, Mr. Star!" she starts to protest, until he turns around and gives her the look that I can only classify as his demon look.

"What. Did. I. Say. About. Buts. Ally?"

She nods, and wordlessly exits his office. I awkwardly get up and leave as well. I find a fuming Ally pacing in the hall way just out side. I keep my gaze on the ground, but she storms up to me and jabs her finger into my chest and starts to chew me out. I can see the fire in her eyes, but there's more to it than that. I can see the hurt resurfacing in her eyes, just like the last time I saw her. I can see straight through her mask.

"You listen, Moon. This is only going to be a business deal. As I'm sure you know damn well, I can act like quite the angel. But don't for a fucking minute think that the way I act in front of the paparazzi will be how I really feel about you or treat you like when we're not. You are just a detestable waste of space to me, and it will stay that way. So don't go trying to change my mind." And with that, she walked away.

Ouch. That stung. A lot.

That more than stung.

I cried the whole ride back to my empty house. Yes, the Austin Moon cried. To see the girl I love with so much hatred towards me was like being shot in the eyes with a million needles. No, it was more than that. I don't even know how to explain it.

All I know is that this is going to be even harder than ever imagined.

So as I collapse onto my bed that night, I send up a prayer.

_Please, PLEASE help me with Ally. Let her know I'm so sorry, and I can't even stand myself. I want her to know I still love her, that I love Aiden! And I want to be a part of their lives as more than just business. I want to be Ally's love again, I want to be Aiden's Daddy. Please, please. Just help me._

)*)&*$%T*(OP&(&{YT%*&&)(*YR^&$^%*(ROSS_U*&T^&%R&^YTY(E&YRWPUR((&(^%&$

_**So. I know this is kind of sad and junk, but trust me it gets better! All the drama has to unfold! Oh, how we all love drama :) How is everyone liking it? Good story line? **_

_**In your reviews! Please tell me:**_

_**Do you think Ally's reaction to seeing Austin again was a facade, or does she really despise him that much? Or does she maybe still love him but hate him for what he did, beyond the point of forgiveness?**_

_**Is the song Ally wrote, about Austin? Or does she have another ex-lover...?**_

_**How long will Austin be able to hold up in his unstable condition? Will he be able to take Ally's hatred, when he's already so depressed and hates himself so much for what he did?**_

_**What's your favorite part of the story so far?! :D**_

_**Love you all! I want 8 reviews before I continue with the next chapter to make sure there's enough interest for me to keep writing...**_

_**Thanks and have a wonderful evening, lovelies! 3**_

_**-Paige/KKEquestrian**_


	3. Naughty Sexy Little Angel

_**Hey again lovelies! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews on this story so far! Ally is definitely the same girl Austin used to know. Well, she is but she isn't at the same time. Confusing, right? Anyways. I hope you enjoy this new chapter! And I know I know...Want You Bad will be updated soon I promise. **_

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**Naughty Sexy Little Angel**

**Austin's P.O.V.**

It's nine o'clock and I just got a call from Amanda telling me to meet Ally at Diano Records so we could go to that stupid club together. This would be so awkward. I mean I know Ally will be able to handle the acting, it's me that I don't think can handle it. How will I be able to cope with her being so sweet and nice to me then turning around and crushing me with every word she says the second we're out of sight of the paparatzi? It will be like getting stabbed in the back over and over again.

Maybe that's what she felt like when I did that stupid video chat and everyone thought she was a liar.

I'll never forgive myself for that. Maybe I do deserve this after all.

As the limo finally reaches Diano Records, I step out and walk into the lobby. This place is way more decked out than Star Records. It has a completely different feel to it, so much more homey than the cold lobby of Star Records. I can see why Ally would pick this place. After the secretary had gotten my autograph for her grand daughter (supposedly) and gave me directions to Mr. Diano's office, I was finally on my way to picking Ally up. As I rounded the corner and stood in the doorway, Mr. Diano and Ally were in a heated conversation. I was apparently unnoticed by either of them, as the continued to argue about whatever was going on.

"But Mr. Diano! WHY now, of all times, do I have to go on a tour with him?! Especially with the new campaign? I mean come on, we're just now taking away my "picture of innocence" to show off this whole new sexy side or whatever the hell you call it and now I'm going on tour with _him?! _People are gonna talk, and you know I hate it when people speculate on who Aiden's father is!"

Well, I guess she's still trying to talk her way out of this tour. I wonder what campaign she's talking about? That sounded really confusing...

"Now Ally, I know you dislike Mr. Moon. That does not mean, however, that you are going to get out of it. You are our best recording artist, and I know for a fact that Austin has no problem going on tour with you, so I expect the same attitude from you unless you'd like to find another producer who will give you a contract and do all that we do to protect Aiden and his privacy. You are the one who chose this new campaign, Ally, so don't even bring that up. We gave you options for a new act, and you took it!"

"But I didn't know I'd be going on tour with Austin fucking Moon! I'm going to be dancing around on stage with all those stupid frilly sexy outfits and he's going to be there watching me and he's just...UGH!" she finally exclaimed, falling down in a chair and putting her head in her hands. I could tell she was sobbing by the way her back was shaking. I can't believe I did this to Ally, I caused her all this grief. She's right, I really am just a waste of space.

I finally decided to clear my throat, and make my presence known. Ally's head whipped around, and her eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of her head. I looked down and fiddled with my hands, unsure of what to say.

"Ah, Mr. Moon. It's nice to finally meet you." Mr. Diano smiled, walking over to me to shake my hand.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Diano. I've heard a lot about you." I replied, doing my best to smile and seem proffessional.

"Well, I'll let you two get going. The limo is waiting outside. Try and enjoy your night." I nodded and started walking out towards the limo I knew was waiting outside. Ally was just behind me, and I opened the limo door for her to climb in when we reached it. She didn't even glance at me, she just got in the limo. I got in and sat down on the opposite side of the limo that she was on. I wanted to win Ally back, but I knew I would have to go about it slowly. Plus, I couldn't really handle hearing anything mean from her right now, after what I had just over heard in the office. She really did hate me, and I honestly had no idea how to fix it. I finally looked up to look at Ally, and it was only then that I noticed what she was wearing. She had on a sexy little black dress that was lace, and showed off her entire back. She looked absolutely stunning, and her black sitlletos made her long legs even more eye catching. She was looking out the windows, I'm assuming to avoid any eye contact or possible conversation with me.

I decided to pour myself some champagne, to prepare myself for what was to come with the paparatzi when we reached the club. I downed two glasses before I finally started to feel just a little better, and was sipping on my third glass when we finally reached the club. Ally reached for the door, but I reached out and stopped her, causing her to pull her hand back immediately. She sent me a glare, and I whispered, "Let me get it. Paperatzi, remember?" She sent me a sarcastic smile that resembled more of a 'whatever you say ass hole' than one of gratitude. I rolled my eyes and then plastered a fake smile on my face before stepping out of the limo, and reaching out to help Ally out. She smiled at me in a way that would make anyone other than myself believe that she liked me in the slightest bit, but I kept my face expressionless as I wrapped one arm around her waist and she leaned into me. The paperatzi went crazy seeing us together, and tried asking as many questions as they could as we walked to the VIP entrance of the club.

"Are you two dating?"

"Ally! Is he Aiden's father?"

"Austin? Isn't this your old flame, you're once upon a time song writer? Are you two back together?"

Ally just smiled at them all, and I managed to keep my face expressionless the whole time. When we finally got inside the club, I immediately let go of Ally and she sighed in relief. I guess she thought it was awkward, To me, it felt great having her back at my side. It was slightly less enjoyable, though, considering it was under all the wrong circumstances. We walked over to a small booth in the back, where personal servers were waiting to take our orders. Ally ordered a glass of wine, and I ordered two shots of whiskey. We were quiet as we waited for our drinks to arrive, and once they did I chugged my two shots immediately.

"Well, someone's turned into quite the drinker, haven't they?" Ally questioned sarcastically, quirking and eyebrow at me as she ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass.

"It's the only thing that can make me forget." I answer with a shrug. How I've managed to keep this emotionless facade is amazing to me, but I guess it's working because Ally is looking at me like she's trying to study me, trying to figure out what I could possibly mean by that.

She should know damn well what I mean by that.

But, I guess if she really thinks that I don't regret what I did and that I'm just a waste of space to her, then why _would _she know that. I shake my head at my thoughts and order another round of whiskey.

"So what's this about a new campaign I hear?" I finally asked her, feeling a little more comfortable now that I'm about half way drunk.

She just looks at me amusedly before answering, "My label decided to recreate my image. No more little angel, I'm portraying my sexy side now."

She flipped her hair over her shoulder as she finished, revealing her bare shoulders and more of her cleavage thanks to her low cut dress. My eyes feasted on the sight before I could stop myself, I said "I can see why. You pull it off quite well." I smirked, seeing that my comment made her blush. My first sign of emotion all night, and it was a smirk. Way to go Austin, way to show her you haven't changed a bit.

"Let's go dance and then get out of here before I'm dragging you're drunk ass back home. Now that would be quite the sight for the paparatzi, wouldn't it?" She quipped.

I rolled my eyes. She obviously doesn't follow anything about me, does she. "Wouldn't be the first time, Ally." She kind of gaped at me, so I just stood up and started walking towards the dance floor. I turned and waited for her, and watched as she made her way through the crowd. She was so damn sexy, I couldn't help the rush of anticipation that filled my body at the thought of dancing with her. When she reached me, she gave me a sultry grin that made me shiver and grabbed my hand in hers as she led me to the middle of the dance floor. When we got there, she pushed the back of her body against my front and looped her arms around the back of my neck as she started moving her hips in sexy little circles. Feeling her up against me like this was like my own personal heaven I've been dreaming about. Unable to stop myself, my hands went to her hips and pulled her even closer against me as I copied her movements.

Music poudning loud through the speakers around us. The neon lights and the flash of the paparatzi's cameras. Ally's body moving against mine, doing things to my already muddled brain. I groaned in pleasure as Ally moved in just the right way against me, and ducked my head to plant searing kisses on her neck. I felt her shiver underneath my lips, and I knew she was enjoying this even if it was just pretend. Needing to feel her even more, I flipped her around so she was facing me now and pulled her body against mine again. She gasped in suprise, and I started our dance all over again. Her arms returned to around my neck, and mine crept lower towards her ass. She looked up at me through her eye lashes, and her eyes were darkened with the lust I knew had taken over mine as well. I decided to continue my exploration of her bare shoulders and neck with my lips. She threw her head back to give me better access, and sighed softly. I smirked against her skin, knowing full well she was doing her best not to moan and draw attention to us. I knew she was enjoying this, even though I also knew she'd be pissed about it later. I was going to enjoy this while I could.

"Mmm..Austin." She moaned quitely as my lips made there way up her neck to her sensitive spot. What she did next surprised me. She moved my face to her face and crashed her lips against mine. The kiss what rough and passionate, as though we were trying to make up for all the time we'd lost, but also as if we were getting all our frustrations out in this one kiss. I backed her up against the closest wall, dancing long forgotten as I lifted her up by her ass for her to wrap her leggs around my waist. I pressed my body fully against her, feeling her where I needed her most. She gasped again, giving me the perfect opportunity to slide my tounge into her mouth.

'Ally, Ally, Ally, Ally' was all my brain could process. I felt something I hadn't felt in years, something I hadn't felt since that day she walked out on me. I felt love again.

Remembering that this was all just an act, that she still hated me and none of this was real, I pulled away suddenly and set her back on the ground. She looked up at me in confusion, and looked even more perplexed after noticing the look of absolute devestation and hurt on my face. My eyes hardened over as I grabbed her shoulders arms and spit out the venomous words that would make her realize that I wasn't over her, I never had been and probably never will be.

"I can't do this Ally. I can't hand you fucking hating me one minute then giving me the biggest thrill of emtions I've felt since I last had you. I can't handle the fucking pretending, and I **never **will be able to, dammit! I may not be completely sober right now, Allyson, but I'm not just some toy to be played with. I've made mistakes in the past, and they haunt me every fucking day of my life. You think you've got it bad, but at least you have **someone,** anyone actually! So do what you want, but don't expect to be able to just play around with me as part of your new 'sexy campaign.' My heart can't handle it."

And with that, I turned around and left her there looking like reality just slapped her hard in the face as I stormed out of the club and to one of the limos waiting in the parking lot to take the VIP people was no way I could ride back in a limo with Ally. Not after I just accidentally spilled my guts to her.

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_**Sooo...what do you think? Ooohhhh, Austin told Ally (more or less) that he's never gotten over her! Damn, he put her in her place! Hahaha. **_

_**Poor Austin. He's so vulnerable and weak. But still so, so sexy at the same time...how he does it, we'll never know ;)**_

_**Please review! And tell all your friends about this story! I would greatly appreciate it! **_

_**8 more reviews for another chapter seems fair!**_

_**Tell me you're fave part of this chapter. :)**_

_**Love always,**_

_**-Paige/KKEquestrian**_


	4. Drunk Again

_**Hello lovely readers! I finally got some inspiration for this chapter! Yay! Not that I didn't really have the inspiration before…but it felt like every time I sat down to write I just couldn't get it to sound right. Then I'd feel guilty for writing fanfiction when I had a shit load of homework to do so….yeah. College is great and all, but the homework load sucks. Just fyi. So, anywhoodles, enjoy (if you can) this chapter. It's pretty sad, gonna go ahead and warn you. Like, depressingly sad. And for my WYB readers, I AM GOING TO UPDATE TONIGHT OR TOMORROW! YAYYYYYY! **____** enjoy!**_

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**Chapter 4: Drunk Again**

As soon as I'm safely in the limo, I crack open the closest bottle of alcohol and start drinking it straight out of the bottle. By the time I reach home, I'm feeling pretty good again. I stumble up my doorstep, and into my lonely, cold apartment. Flashbacks of when Ally used to live here with me haunt me as I walk from room to room. Finally I make it to the basement, where there are hundreds and hundreds of alcoholic beverages stored. I grab a bottle of whiskey, and start drinking it straight from the bottle. There's a piano and another living room down here, too, so I walk over to the piano, ready to pour my heart out. I haven't written a song since the time I wrote Steal Your Heart for Ally, but I'm going to right now. Whether it's the alcohol making my feelings come through my head loud and clear, or just the immense amount of pain my heart is in after tonight, I'll never know. Setting the bottle of whiskey down on top of the baby grand, finding a sad tune I'm comfortable with, I start pouring my heart into the music.

_I think you can do much better than me_

_After all the lies that I made them believe_

_Guilt kicks in and I start to see_

_The edge of the bed_

_Where your nightgown used to be_

This happens to me all the time. The never ending feeling of guilt, the remembering this house not as empty with Ally here, the things we used to do together.

_I told myself I won't miss you_

_But I remember_

_What it feels like beside you_

_I really miss your hair in my face_

_And the way your innocence tastes_

_And I think you should know this_

_You deserve much better than me_

I really don't think I'm a fan of Ally's new "image". Her innocence is one of the many things I always told her I loved about her. It was so refreshing, and enjoyable. I even sang about it in the song I wrote for her! But hey, maybe that's why she chose to get rid of that image. Because she knows I love that about her. Or maybe it's because I took that innocence away from her.

Just another thing to make me feel the guilt even more. She really does deserve someone so much better than me. Someone who would've been man enough to stand up for her and Aiden.

_While looking through your old box of notes_

_I found those pictures I took_

_That you were looking for_

About a week before the big fight, Ally had been looking for the pictures of Team Austin's first award show. I had won Best Male Artist of the Year, and Ally had gotten an award for her song writing. That was the first night me and Ally had made love. Maybe that's why she was looking for them, to remember all the good times before she told me the big news. I'm such an ass hole.

_If there's one memory I don't want to lose_

_That time at the mall_

_You and me in the dressing room_

Ah, again. Ally had tried on this stunning dress for a movie premiere we were going to together. Our first sighting in public as a public couple, even though we'd already been secretly together for several months. She walked out looking so beautiful, I couldn't help myself. She was so against it at first (her innocence taking over), because we were in a public place, but it didn't take long to convince her otherwise. This is one of my favorite memories of the two of us. Two teenagers, so in love that we couldn't stand to wait another minute.

_I told myself I won't miss you_

_But I remember_

_What it feels like beside you_

_I really miss your hair in my face_

_And the way your innocence tastes_

_And I think you should know this_

_You deserve much better than me_

She deserves SO much better than me.

_The bed I'm lying in is getting colder_

_Wish I never would've said it's over_

_And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older_

_Cause we never really had our closure_

_This can't be the end_

I never really said it's over, but I'm the jack ass who made the horrible mistake that I did, meaning I'm the one who ruined what we had together. I might as well have broken up with myself, I should have known that doing what I did was a one way ticket to splitsville. But with people saying awful things to me, and the alcohol, and everything else going on, I didn't even sit down and take a moment to think about the consequences.

_I really miss your hair in my face_

_And the way your innocence tastes_

_And I think you should know this_

_You deserve much better than me_

_I really miss your hair in my face_

_And the way your innocence tastes_

_And I think you should know this_

_You deserve much better than me_

_(And I think you should know this)_

_(You deserve much better than me)_

I quickly write down what I just wrote, then reach up and grab the bottle of whiskey again, finishing it off and heading to grab another bottle. Sitting down in the arm chair by the bookshelves, I look around the room. There's pictures of Ally and I, together and happy as could be. There's pictures of me and my family, before my parents quit loving me. There's pictures of Team Austin, four best friends who meant the world to each other. And lastly but not least, there's the one picture I have of Aiden. It's from when he was first born. I only have it because it was plastered all over the internet, and pretty easy to get. It's my favorite one. I stare at that one the longest, wondering what life might have been like if I wouldn't have screwed everything up.

But as I'm chugging down my third bottle of whiskey since getting home, I come to realize that nothing is ever going to change. Trish and Dez will get married, Ally will raise Aiden, Aiden will hate me forever without even getting a chance to know me, and I'll be here. All alone, just regretting all of the things in my past and wishing I could be a part of the lives of people who no longer welcome me. I'll be famous, and rich, and a superstar, but I'll have no one to cherish my dreams with; no one to come home to every night. I'll always be alone, living this empty life of fortune and fame.

Sitting back down at the piano, I feel another rush of sadness and begin to write out the horrid thoughts currently consuming my brain.

_Time has run out, for me, everything's distant and I don't know what to believe_

_It's so hard, lost in the world's confusion and I need to leave_

_For awhile, life is so meaningless there is nothing worth a smile_

_So goodbye, I'll miss you..._

_I'm sorry, but this is my fate, everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay_

_And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long, so here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me, I'm not worth any tears..._

Tears start to pour down my face as I realize the truth of my own words. No one who really matters would give a fuck if I was gone or not. It would alleviate Ally of the stress of having to go on tour with me. Dez would no longer feel like he has to do his monthly check in on me. Trish could continue to hate my guts. And my son, Aiden, would never have to fight with his mother about wanting to at least meet his father, and could just hate me like Ally wants him to, because I'll be gone. My parents haven't spoken to me in more than 6 months, and they have forbade my younger siblings to have any contact with me whatsoever. So, yeah…It really wouldn't matter, would it? My fans are probably the only ones who would really be sad. But there will always be some new, upcoming "hot" guy that is willing to take my place.

My hands shake as I play the melody once again, my voice coming out strained because of the tears and slurred because of the alcohol. Just as I'm finishing the last few notes, a loud crash jolts me out of my morbid thoughts and I stop playing. Looking up, I see that someone has taken one of my empty bottles and smashed it through the glass coffee table, apparently very angry.

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_**Okay…so I know that I'm leaving you with an awful cliff hanger, but I PROMISE not to leave it at this point! In fact, if you give me 15 reviews I will update TOMORROW ;) I don't own either of the songs I used. But the Hinder song, I am in love with. I love Austin Winkler's voice, and that song just…mmmm. Lols. **_

_**So, what did you guys think? **_

_**Any guesses on who the person is that's found Austin in his depressed and drunken state? **_

_**Don't worry, I know it's sad right now but trust me when I say it is slowly building up to Auslly! **_

_**I love you all!**_

_**Love and kisses,**_

_**KKequestrian/Paige**_


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